As many of you know, I've been out of commission for a month due to the left Ankle Brostrom surgery in early November. The recovery process included wearing a protective boot over my left leg, walking around in crutches, little to no exercise, a lot of sitting at home and crusting away in my bed (just kidding, although that is pretty much what people think of when you tell them you're recovering from surgery). I definitely watched my left calf muscles atrophy and turn to jello, but there really was nothing I can do about my left leg during recovery.
Anyway, now that the hard part is over, I'm done crying about muscle loss and solitude. Recovery wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but there were several struggles and life adjustments that I had to make.
1. Solitude and FOMOThe hardest woe of recovery to swallow was being alone and missing out on everything. I chose to do my surgery in the Winter, after all of my traveling settled down. There never is a good time to schedule surgical procedures, but the Winter particularly sucked because that's when all of the holiday celebrations and social events took place. Thank goodness I didn't miss Thanksgiving in Vegas with my family, but I had to miss out on a lot of work bonding events that I wished I could have been a part of. For example, a team-building event, and our Holiday Party (mostly because I didn't want to walk around in a robotic boot in a dress). Even though I felt distant from my co-workers and friends, I was super appreciative that my manager was nice enough to let me work 100% at home during this time. And I'm even more grateful for my co-workers not judging me for showing up on video conferences with the same gray shirt 3 days in a row. Other than that, I didn't miss out much on weekends. I was still able to go out and grab a beer or drink occasionally as long as I had a driver (Thanks, boyfriend), and as long as there were seats (no clubbing kthx).
2. ImmobilityEven though I was able to be driven around to attend events, I still felt somewhat immobile and limited. If you know me, I NEED to be outdoor. I NEED fresh grass, salty ocean air, and I NEED the swooping feeling of looking down from a peak of a mountain. The beginning of my recovery was particularly shitty because I would be at home, sometimes 3 days in a row without ever stepping out for fresh air. However, towards the end of my recovery, my boyfriend and I flew to Vegas for my family's 'Thanksgiving in Vegas' tradition. I was on one crutch and I said "FUCK IT." We visited the Red Rock Canyons, Valley of Fire State Park, and we even went out clubbing (Shout out to Drais Night Club for seating this crippled sis). These trekks were hard, although they were around a mile long. I couldn't hike without my sweet parents telling me to turn back every 10 mins. Towards the end of my recovery, I wanted to make immobility my bitch.
So this is where a lot of disappointment happened. I've been working out for about 5 years now, and to see my entire left leg waste away into a smaller size than my right leg was pretty heart breaking. Before surgery, after every workout, I would rush home to drink my whey protein to feed my muscles. But during this month, I saw all that effort just go to waste. Earlier this week as I was taking off my left boot, I felt my left calf, and it felt like a puddle of jello. Muscle atrophy is real, and I didn't realize that completely not using your left leg to walk can really change the way your body balances itself.
Although post-surgery was a drab, I looked back on the month and was glad to have experienced it all. Through every inconvenience, one gets stronger through learning how to take control of the situation. Today is the first day that I'm out of the boot, and off of crutches. I'm now FWB (full-weight-bearing), and on two feet. Although there was a lot of staying-at-home, I appreciated the alone time, because it allowed me to focus on what I want in my future. And despite my legs turning into jello, I've been doing banded upper body work outs and rock climbing in my boot to keep my strength.
1. Grateful for kind heartsLooking back, I really appreciate everyone who were supportive of my recovery process, and those who accommodated and took care of me. When you're helpless, you start to realize how kind people are to take time out of their day to make yours a little less difficult--it stunned my somewhat cynical view of the world. My selfless boyfriend was the person I saw most. He was the most patient, since he grocery-shopped and cooked on demand for me, drove me to places, and gave me all of the attention I needed. Everywhere I went-- restaurants, bars, and even on the hikes-- people offered help and words of support. I even received strength comments such as "Daaamn, who did you kick, or beat up to be in that cast?" (These make me lol). These supportive actions, words, and jokes made me realize that when you're vulnerable, people will offer what they can to help make the situation better.
2. Use Your Extra TimeTime was a valuable gift during recovery. Instead of using your time for unproductive leisure, make it count. Use the extra time to try something new, or do something that you've been wanting to do but have been complaining that "there is no time" for. I decided to dive headfirst into a Data Analytics Bootcamp I've been wanting to do for the longest time. I've been seeking a career change for months now, and this was the perfect opportunity, since it's a 3-4 month remote program that teaches business intuition, hands-on skills, and technical abilities. I could not stress how happy I am to learn new skills, especially one that will take me towards the next step of my career-- and this all came from making time during recovery.
3. RebuildI mentioned a lot about lost muscle, and I've been stressed about how I am going to create a work out plan to get my fit body back. During the time of recovery, I did not completely fall off of the map. When my legs wouldn't support me, I bought workout rubber bands to do some upper body resistant workouts. When I was on one crutch, I had my boyfriend take me to the climbing gym (lol where I tore my ligament) to use the weights and the pull up bar. When I felt a bit more comfortable walking around without the crutch, I had my boyfriend spot me while I did some easier bouldering problems (V0-V2s). Fitness is my life and a part of my identity, and I refuse to let it waste away and die out. People will think I'm insane for hiking in crutches, or even bouldering with a boot, but it'd be crazy if I completely pull away from it. Being careful and methodical with movement during the recovery period is important, but so is holding on to what gives you life. That is what's going to motivate you to continue rebuilding your muscles and drive you to get back on your feet.
The biggest takeaway through this process is that there are definitely setbacks when it comes to surgical recovery. There are going to be times of frustration where you're going to miss out on events or places you would like to have gone to, or even miss out on the workouts and gains you could have had. But there are also a lot to appreciate during this process. Those who care for you and love you will support you no matter what. You will realize that the time you have is up to you to make worthwhile. And despite lost social time and muscle, you will light an inner fire and plan your own recovery.
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